me . yes me .

weitz .

haiz .

here again .

its like 2 more days till skool starts . sheesh .

n seriously talkin . i havent finish my revision yet . **** me .

i havent even start on econs . seriously . someone **** me . wake me up .

ANYHOOTS .

actually tis entry is specially dedicated to my dearest ever friend , Nurul Atika Bte Khairul Anwar .

ok . fine . call me wateva u want . dont get too jealous peeps . i donnoe . im suddenly inspired . i feel like writting and its especially fer her . i don care if i sound like a lesbo . cuz . oh well . i am if u insist .

ANYHOOTS .

am listening to Once-Dealova . heez . the song i made u addicted to . haha .

Dear Atika ,

i noe its been like ages since we did our proper bitching ritual . maybe its just the new skool , new friends , new life . oh well . etc . etc . u noe wat i mean . but that doenst mean u're like forgotten or anything like that . it may seem that im like not bothered or wateva . or doesnt seem to care much . but seriously darl , i miss u too . oh yeah . thanx fer the testi . didnt get to reply it though . haiz . anyway , remember the gift u gave me last yr fer my birthday . seriously , no one had ever gave me sumtin so heart warming . so . i donnoe . deep . yes . deep . deep frm someone's most beautiful heart .

"Through all this golden years
All the laughter , all the tears
So many memories in the past,
I just hope both of us will never part"

i luv those four lines . its so true . bt i still dont get the 'golden years' part . haha . *winkx*
anyhoots . i hope u remember those 4 lines . yes dear . u wrote it . its like a mantra to me . we may squabble almost everytime we meet , but like u said again ,

"As the tears run down my cheek
I remembered what you said to me
'come on Atika , i know you love me'
You guessed right darlin, I do love you"

hah . yes tika . i luv u too . we may not be spending time together like we used to , i mean i cant deny i missed it , bt i cant deny it either that we've got like different things to do in life now . much more priorities . especially u . with the diploma exams , ur debate stuff . really . i dont want to get in your way . i prefer to be shadowed . i prefer to be the one at the back . looking frm a safe distant but still able to tell people , u noe wat , "She's my friend . my bestfriend . and im proud of it . " u're more like a sister to me then just a bestfriend . u mean a lot to me than anyone could imagine . maybe even you could ever imagine .

you know how it goes fer me . i may seem talkative n very irrittatin n crappy . bt deep down . believe it or not peeps . im seriously a-keep-to-myself person . i dont like to talk bout how i feel . i rather just shut up . but in the end i lose it . n i break down . on my own . no one needs to know . no one . so yes . aye . tis is not abt me . ok . back to atika .

so yes . u noe how rare it is fer me to like call u or anyone fer that matter . (including him. seriously.) haiz . bt dont judge me by the lack of calls or sms . cuz thats the way it is . i may not seem to care . in the sense of my lacking part of trying to talk . but its just the way i do it . i wont show u how i feel abt u . bt one things fer sure , i do care . sincerely . to me . there's no need fer words in a friendship or even a relationship fer that matter . cuz . fer some parts . its just the way u feel and knowing that the other party feels the same way to . now that really matters .

u really mean so much to me . we shared our dirty lil secrets . we cried . we laughed . we shared same passions . well some of it . u noe it isnt easy fer me to be like tellin ppl my "probs" n stuff . but u were the one i found comfort in . thanx . its not easy . bt yes . thank u so much . we've gone thru a lot . i really dont wish fer tis to end . promise me it wont . we may not talk much or spend like as many time together , bt at least , spare me in ur thoughts n well if im lucky enough . in your heart . =)

so yes . Nurul Atika . u stil luv me the way u did 2 yrs ago rite ? i hope u do . cuz i do . it may seem a lil different now . but deep down in my heart . no one touches the spot wer u've created a wonderful friendship . the journey we took all those years were meant to be sealed n stamped "no entry" in my heart . luv u loads darl . =))

signing off
Nurulfizah Bte Mohamed Ali