one mistake

one mistake
and bang!
disaster falls.

i broke down infront of him without even feeling ashame.
i couldn't cared less.
i was too hurt.
too frustrated.
with life.
i guess its a better ending that way.

that day.
that gruesome day of mine.
the world just crushes down on me.

i felt a pang of loss.
no.
i was angry with myself.
letting my guard down,
when i noe it's all a BIG nistake!

i shouldn't have trusted anyone.
why should i.
when in the end, the one who's lost in the battle is me.
yes.
ME!

i have no one now.
he promised to stay though.
but.
it's different.
i have no idea why i put them on the peak,
when in the end
it's just an illusion of dreams...
left shattered.

the one left hurt is me.
yet again.
i thought things would changed.
but nothing did.
i'm the same old me.
being trapped in an illusion of kindness.

the wall of trust is building up around my heart
yet again.
i can't stop it.
i don't want too.

why should i.
i don't want to be hurt again.
not now.
not never.

i made a mistake.
yes.
me.
i blamed it on myself.
stupid mistake made by the ever stupid me.

could i ever continue live now?
when in this desperation to breathe,
i couldn't even see the clarity of life.
i'm stuck here just because i have too.
not because i want too.

i guess this is the best way to part.
i know i'm leaving anyway.
so why not just make the situation worst now huh.
yeah.
why not.
there's nothing to lose.
except getting hurt.
i'm used to it anyway.
yes.
used to it.....


_stupid me_