Puny Heart

It gets frustrating when things doesn't go your way, doesn't it?
When you thought that it's ok to just give in to something, or give up for your own good. (Well,at least you think it is).
When in the end, it just doesn't turn out that way.
It is NOT ok.
So when people say it might be the best for you, or there'll be something better.
You feel like taking a skewer and stuck it in your eyes, and chuck a blund knife to your throat.
Really.
That "something" doen't come at a snap of the fingers.
The journey takes so loooong that you end up sick of waiting.
So you do "things" while waiting for the good "something" to come your way.
And the "things" you do might sound better in your punny little head than when it is being executed.
(I'm speaking from experience here)
But, when those stupid ideas of yours has been out in the open, and you can't do anything else, except to just swallow 10 panadols and go right to sleep so that maybe, some way or another, you might just wake up thinking it was just a nigthmare.
(Fyi, no panadols were swallowed or harmed during the course of actions)
Nonetheless, if at least that "thing" you did, did help a little. Then I see no reason to regret it. If it lifted a little scrap of your burden, then I should give a pat on my back and say, "hey, you know what, it's not that bad after all".


I wrote this in my journal, have a read:

We always tell ourselves if only we could've had a chance to know what the future would be like.
Then maybe we could save a little live, save from the destruction of a heartbreak.
Not falling too hard.

But what if you knew things won't work out well from the beginning, that you're in something that might not even have a future.
Then, would you even want to know the future now?


- - -

I'll end things with this song, a song speaking right front the pit of my puny heart.